Why do humans even have butt hair? 

Is it to muffle farts? Give off scents to potential mates? A conspiracy lead by the waxing and razor companies? Science tells us a lot ... but maybe not everything. 

Theory #1: SCENT COMMUNICATION:

Basically, butt hair does the same thing as armpit hair: traps your natural scent to make you attractive to potential mates. 

Theory #2: MUFFLE FARTS

According to an IGN study, butts that waxed all their bungholio hair were unable to silently fart. YES, this is a real study. 50 men and women did the experiment and 10/10 could not muffle their own farts. *clenches butt*

Theory #3: MINIMIZE FRICTION

Humans move around a lot. Without butt hair all of this moving could lead to some serious irritation.